Last week we focused a little more on the addict and how they condition others through manipulation to maintain their toxic lifestyles.
This week we are shifting back to the family unit again. So, just to refresh the mind let’s remember what enabling is…
Enabling is a means by which someone facilitates a person’s addiction by removing the natural consequences of their addictive behaviours.
We know that this may occur through conditioning and manipulation (addict’s part) and also through misinformed attempts to “help” the person suffering from addiction (enabler’s part).
So how do we know when we’re truly helping or when we’re actually making things worse by enabling? To help you get started, take a look at the info graphic which lists the most common examples of enabling versus helping that we have observed over our many years of treating addiction. See if there are any on both lists that you identify with.
It’s often the “tough love” we give to a loved one that bares fruit. Disciplining them carefully with righteous judgement and making them accountable for their actions are excellent places to start. If we do this out of love we cannot go wrong.
Solomon describes this rather sharply in the book of Proverbs…
“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” – Proverbs 13:24